Can’t say I’ve done anything productive this week other than the usual catch ups.
I returned to Zouk on Saturday after months of intentional evasion and did enjoy most of my night. Although towards the end, something really got to me and I was… “mildly” out of sorts. Well, shame on me for succumbing to old habits. Despite most of my teen weekends in the past being spent there I’ve definitely had better nights elsewhere. So in the future, I think its best to revisit my new found faves.
On a side note, I’ve been thinking a lot about the big move next year, and the closer it gets, the more apprehensive I feel. I’m extremely anxious and unnerved. A myriad of fears and uncertainty flood through me. I’ve been asked so many questions as to my choice of study and what feels like an endless supply of judgement passed from onlookers. Why is it that with everything we do comes the attachment of incisive critics? Why does everything have to be done the conventional way? Why can’t people just accept that not everyone’s built to be a fucking engineer or business type, even an accountant or broker. Maybe I’m just different? Why is it so wrong to want to do things my way and to let me discover my path on my own? I don’t always have the answers to my future. I don’t know what I want to be, nor what I want to do in life. But thats the fucking beauty of it isn’t it? Taking the steps that you know you’re sure of, and having them lead you to something bigger and better than yourself. Because life is never a straight line. It’s ever changing and we have to consistently adapt to the world around us. I know nothing’s perfect and I’m going fall, a lot. But how can we truly appreciate success if we’ve never seen failure. What I’m doing may seem ludicrous and pointless, and maybe it is. But seriously, I don’t need your input.
I just need to get this out there.
Peace in, x